I'm skipping grading, I'm getting destroyed in kumite, what do you think?

I too felt that way about my first promotion test. I thought it was too soon and that I wasn't up to par. But I can never forget what my current Shotokan instructor told us after our first promotion test. He told us that we passed because he saw the potential and the determination to perfect our techniques, not because we were good at kumite. One of our classmates who took the test barely survived the kumite but he tried his best to execute the only two techniques he knew well, Gyaku tsuki and Mae geri, but he however passed the Kata and Kihon Waza test hence he was promoted. Our instructor said this was because judging performance in kumite is not based on wins but on how you applied the basic techniques you learned during kumite, you can't always win all the time, because there will always be someone better than you. You use kumite to measure your skills, but at your own pace, not everyone progresses at the same time. As long as you used kumite in this context and not think of it as an ego boosting exercise, then you can learn something from the experience and strive to do better in the next test. You can always work on your kumite during regular sparring. But bad form and technique on the other hand is unacceptable. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide whether you want to take the test or not, but you must keep in mind that your instructor is more experienced and can see more than you can regarding your skill level and readiness for promotion. We tend to be perfectionists and this is not bad, but sometimes our insecurities also tends to hold us back. Talking to your sensei sincerely about your apprehension and hesitation about taking the test is fine, but making up an alibi to not take the test on the other hand is a sign of disrespect. It means you don't trust him enough to tell him the truth and would rather resort to deception, This is not what discipline is all about and it certainly is not a good practice to cultivate. Just be honest and tell him the truth.