I think Im obsessed with fighting?

Okay, everyday I think about fighting. It stays on my mind at least 85% of the time during the course of one day. I never used to be like this. I used to never fight because I was always scared to get beat up and I didn't have the necessary skills. I'm not a bad person at all. I"m very respectful, I don't let people's words bother me. I've had this obsession every since I started watching the ultimate fighter season 1 with Forrest Griffin and Josh Koscheck and all those guys. I don't want to go out and start a fight because I'm not that kind of person. Believe it or not, I avoid physical conflict whenever possible. But I want to fight someone so bad and I don't have the money to train for mma or boxing or anything like that. Everyday I get up and go to the mirror to shadow box and Every Wednesday I can't wait to get home from school to watch UFC Unleashed followed by the ultimate fighter. It's just me and my mom in the house and I don't have alot of friends so I can't spar with anybody. When I get on the internet I look up MMA Highlights of people getting KTFO. So what can I do to quench my thirst until the time comes when I have to fight.