Why do Christian men want to believe that submissive wife is subservient and a will-less woman?

The whole point of Christianity as i live it is Freedom and Grace no matter who i am, that i am wonderfully made by God and that I submit only to Jesus, bowing down to no man. If my man loved me as Christ loved the church, why would he want a different person after marriage? If he wanted a woman that isn't outspoken and strong willed then why did he ask me to marry him. If it werent for people at churches telling him that a submissive wife is obeient to the husband as if he is "God" he wouldnt be tempted to believe this hog wash tranlsation of the bible which is by no means translated properly by men in the church, or they would see that the verse that follows says as Sara was submissive to Abraham, and when you read the stories about them, she was a strong willed woman outspoken and active even when she did kick out the maidservant she had and her son so that sarah's son would inherit and hers wouldnot, she even laughed when God told her she would have a miraculous pregnacy, which is another proof that men arent interpretting this verse according to Grace and Mercy and Love, and that Christ wouldnt want his people putting others above him. So since i can not and no one can serve two masters or hate one and love the other, why do Christian men want to believe that these verses give them dominion over thier wife? If they know God and know he isnt a God of double standards then why do they love these words that they so obviously interpret with thier egos and not with Holiness? please if you arent a believer then your answer will not make sense unless you are a miracle speaker and in no way against christianity. I want both the male and female perspective from people who are actively loving Christ in thier heart and not ashamed, otherwise i wont choose a best answer. I just need to understand why men would be so stubborn and not try to understand thier folly in thier interpretation and the message of Christainity through Jesus Christ. What is the problem with the male believers? Why is it so hard for them to understand there is no pecking order in Christian followers that men not God created? why cant they see the Hell they are preaching and lack of Grace in these misinterpretations? humor me.